


Nobles and Demons

by Lumau



Category: Shades of Magic - V. E. Schwab
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other: See Chapter Notes, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Romance, acol spoilers, rhylucard - Freeform, very minor spoilers for A Royal Affair / A Universe of Wishes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28027959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumau/pseuds/Lumau
Summary: Rhy and Alucard are both trying to adjust to their new lifes, as King and royal guard, at the Soner Rast, and with each other.What do the three eventful years apart mean for their relationship? And will the demons of their past continue to haunt them, now that they're reunited?No, don't worry, I'm NOT trying to ruin their happy end! I just think they still have issues to work through. :DDeveloped from what was initially planned as a one-shot (Prologue: Nobles and DemonsCheck rating and warnings - You don't have to read the prologue to understand this story!)
Relationships: Alucard Emery/Rhy Maresh
Comments: 9
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)

***

Alucard’s footsteps rang down the hall. The sound on the polished wood was dampened by the excessively rich decor and long silk curtains lining the walls in regular intervals.  
Lila Bard had always mocked him for the noise his heavy boots made when he strutted across the deck of the Night Spire.

“That’s why you need me as your best thief,” she had said.

“Believe me, Bard, I can go unnoticed if I want to. It’s all about the timing. If I didn’t make a bit of a show and have myself noticed on board, no one would know who the Captain is.”

Lila only raised an eyebrow at that, disapproving of the fact that, regardless of his words, he was clearly enjoying the theatre he invested in his role as _Casero_.  
Now she would be standing at the very same wheel he’d held day after day, and she certainly had not had any issues being respected as _Casero_ Bard without having to adopt a loud personality.

The last weeks went by so quickly, Alucard had not spend many thoughts on Lila or the Spire or the open sea. Today was the first time he’d felt a little pinch of something like longing. And so he was walking the hallways of the Soner Rast, pushing away the mental image of a captive tiger he’d once seen on display in one of the larger seaside towns, pacing back and forth behind the bars of its cage, because there was nothing else it could do. He tried to tell himself there wasn’t anything to run towards or away from, that he was where he wanted to be, that he had to be grateful, tried to convince himself that he would get used to his new old life as a noble, as a royal guard, to London, to the palace.

When he stepped outside into the late afternoon sun, he was surprised to find himself standing in the orchard.  
Why had his traitorous feet carried him to the site of one of the tipping points of his past life?  
How was he not supposed to go mad in this place so brimming full of memories, some of the very best and worst of his life, most of which he only wanted to bury deeply and forget?

He couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must be like for Rhy. But while the king was haunted by nightmares and clearly distraught by the recent events, all while struggling to make sense of his new role and responsibilities, Alucard admired him for his commitment, resilience and strength.

That’s where their differences showed, he thought. At his core, Rhy had a strong personality, confident in who he was and what he wanted. He liked to put on a show for fun, not to hide behind it. While his lack of magical powers might be a weakness, he made up for it in so many other ways. Everything Alucard strived for seemed to come naturally to Rhy, and while he made sure to never let it show, he was well aware of the part of himself that felt lost and scared most of the time.

Rounding the corner past a row of rose bushes, he ran a weary hand over his face.  
“That’s the problem,” he thought, “I just have too much time to think.”

Of course, there had been slow days at sea where the walls of his cabin seemed to creep in closer, and where he was at risk of remembering what he was running from, but it had generally been easy to keep himself busy, shouting at his crew, steering the ship’s wheel, hauling rope or shooting prodding questions at Lila. The rest could be drowned in wine.

Resting his back against the trunk of a fig tree, he took a deep breath and scanned the orchard. Over there he had lain in the grass all those years ago, young and naive, worrying about something so trivial as his ripped coat. Already lost and scared, but his chest filling with a completely new feeling that made his heart race, lighting a tiny, guarded spark of hope in him.

“If it is love...”

“A suitor...”

He brushed the thoughts off. What was the use of it? So far he still had to find a magical item that could turn back time, and even then – would he have been able to prevent all that came next?  
His fingers twitched, habitually searching for the silver bands to touch and play with, but he wasn’t wearing his rings anymore. Instead he called a small breeze and absently let it rustle the leaves above him.

“I want to talk about what happened,” Rhy had said that morning, looking him straight in the eyes with a seriousness that he’d only started to embody since he became king. “I need to know what this attack you had was about.”

After three days of tiptoeing around the event, Alucard thought it was fair enough he asked. Only, the explanations he had come up with in his head sounded ridiculous and weak, when all he wanted to do was forget again. He looked down and let his hand run over his wrist, where the thin silver veins combined with the older scars, broad and even. They had not bothered him in a long time, shadows of the past, stored away securely and irrelevant to who he was today. And yet, his body had betrayed him and the intensity and his complete loss of control that had overcome him so suddenly scared him still.

What bothered him even more though was the change he felt between him and Rhy ever since that night. They were only small details, imperceptible almost, but he noticed every second of hesitation before Rhy touched him, every look that was asking unspoken questions before he leaned in for a kiss, every little way in which Rhy had started to treat him like something sensitive and fragile, where he had felt strong and safe before.  
It wasn’t that he minded carefulness or communication, but the rift he perceived ran through previously firm ground both of them had been able to trust. And once again, he had broken that ease and security they had developed with each other.

When Alucard looked up, he had to squint against a flash of white, bright against the full green of the lawn.  
“Esa!” He sat down next to his cat, that had stretched herself out in the sun, to scratch her belly the way he knew she only allowed him to do, and only for as long as she wanted.  
Her purring and calm presence was a welcome distraction from his spinning thoughts.  
“What would I do without you, Esa? If only you could tell me how to talk to Rhy.”

They sat in silence for a long time, before a noise and loud voices from an overhead window made Alucard jump. Not a matter that concerned him, but he was still not used to being officially allowed to roam the palace in public without the fear of being caught.

He sighed, picked Esa up and went back to his room.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3
> 
> I'm currently stuck at home, so I think this should be updated fairly regularly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)

***

What would the king do now?  
Rhy had asked this question hundreds of times throughout his life, in his head and sometimes aloud to his father, his mother, the _Aven Essen_.  
Sometimes as a joke to throw Kell off and break his guarded composure in unsuitable situations.  
But he had never asked himself this question as often as during the last weeks. And he’d rarely been so stumped for an answer as today.

Over the years he had been taught skills that he needed as a king, had learned languages, politic strategizing, diplomacy, culture and how to handle a sword.  
He had tried to learn magic, but that had been in vain.  
As a prince, and as the king, he had always been able to rely on advisors, teachers, priests, his parents, Kell… but now he had no one to ask for help.

Rhy found that his education, when it came to _matters of the heart_ , as his mother might have said, lacked certain details.  
There were official protocols for courtship, marriage and all that, of course.  
Other things were highly unofficial – he had learned how to kiss in dark alcoves, how to sneak lovers into his chambers via secret passage ways, how to move from a casual chat to a sleepless night, how to give and receive a range of pleasures and how to end a flirt before it got too serious.  
But _sanct_ , what did you do when your lover broke down in your bed?

Alucard had come back to him, and both of them had been on a high of pleasure and affection since their reunion, relishing each other’s company in all the ways possible, as if to make up for the time they lost, as well as to balance all the dreadful events they recently went through.

Every day and night Rhy was thankful to have him by his side, not just because he had never stopped missing Alucard after his departure four years ago, but also because he was currently the only person in London who stood with him simply because he wanted to. Alucard's easygoing, lofty nature was medicine to Rhy's wounded soul, soothing tears and smoothing frowns and stroking away grief and nightmares.

When Rhy saw Alucard fall apart like that, sobbing and shaking without any obvious reason, it was horribly reminiscent of the night when he had found him on the floor of his cabin, fighting the internal battle against Osaron, teetering between the _oshoc_ 's visions and being burned from the inside out. The helplessness of seeing his beloved suffer so viciously without knowing why or how to help him was something Rhy had hoped he’d never have to experience again.

He wanted to ask what happened the next morning, but they both were depleted after the short night and he knew that Alucard didn't appreciate scrutinising questions.  
Rhy had a good sense for people. Growing up as a royal meant that everyone around him wore invisible masks all the time, and he had learned to live with it.  
Only now did it start to occur to him though, that there was a lot that he did not know about Alucard's last years.  
The _ostra_ s' rumours and some stories he shared, yes. But after all, they had not had much time together since his return, and things were only slowly calming down again in London. So Rhy had just continued to see Alucard the way he remembered him, how he had always wanted to remember him. As he was all those years ago, in those sweet summer memories that seemed like a life time away now.

Rhy bit his lip. He was waiting inside his chambers for Alucard to arrive and a daunting feeling had started to grow in him.  
The unease one felt at the approach of a storm, or the mix of butterflies and dread before embarking on a voyage.  
He poured himself some wine, but left the glass untouched, moved from the balcony to the divan and was up and pacing again within a moment.

When he finally heard the knock on his secret door, he flung himself towards his lover a little too eagerly and disengaged again too quickly as to not give his anxiety away.

"Avan." he said, trying to give his tone a casual air.

"Avan." Alucard replied, and he sounded just as tense.

The king moved to hand a second glass of wine to Alucard, who sat down on the canopied bed and did not hesitate to down the drink.  
They both sighed awkwardly, and as their eyes met, they could not help a nervous laugh.

"Look at us." Rhy grinned, finally taking a sip of his glass as well.

Alucard stretched his hand out to pull him close and as their lips met in a kiss, both felt some of their tension melt away.  
  
"I've been wondering all day what to say," Alucard admitted, stroking a stray curl of hair from Rhy's face.

"And, what did you come up with?" he replied with a smile.

"Only this."

Alucard pulled a dark silk pouch out from underneath his mantle.  
Rhy's brows shot up at the sight of it. He took a step back and looked at the thing indignantly, recognising that bag right away.

It belonged to the mirror that showed the truth, the _liran._

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and your serotonin boosts with kudos and comments! <3  
> You don't know how much I appreciate each and every one.
> 
> I have prewritten about 12 chapters, and will continue posting them very regularly now (probably every other day). :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)
> 
> additional safety notes for this chapter:  
> scars, mention of past imprisonement, fighting, mild physical violence

***

It was not a perfect plan, and the last time Alucard had used the _liran_ Rhy had intercepted rather quickly.  
But it had worked better than any other attempt he had made at explaining.  
As Captain Emery, as the nobleman, as the triad magician, he had never had any problems getting his audience’s attention or expressing what he wanted in a witty, charming or blunt way.  
However, any time he tried to convey a little bit of the inner world of Alucard, the words just did not come out, or they were not heard.

When he pulled out the smooth, shining dish from it’s onyx case, he had mustered up all his courage, determined to be brave and open and honest, to show up to Rhy.  
No matter how awkward or vulnerable it’d feel.

“Luc, stop! Don’t!”

Alucard looked up perplexedly.  
“I want to show you. You need to know…”

“But I don’t want to see it!” Rhy cut him off, eyes wide, jaw tense.  
“Yes, I want to know what happened, but I don’t want to add any more horrible images to my nightmares. And I don’t want you to relive yours.”

Alucard let the mirror sink onto the bed next to him.  
His throat tightened, sudden despair spreading inside him. His hand went to rub the scars around his wrist.  
Rhy sat down next to him, their legs touching. Alucard slightly leaned against him, avoiding to meet his eyes, which he knew were watching him with a softness and concern that would make it so much harder for him to say anything.  
He told himself that it would be okay, that Rhy had a right to know, that he would understand, that he would not hurt him again.  
He sighed and held out his hands in front of him.

“These damned things…”

Rhy took his hands in his, and inspected the smooth silver bands around his wrists, as if he saw the scars for the first time.

“Do they still hurt?”

“No. I rarely notice them anymore. But it seems my body still remembers all too well.”

They sat quietly for a moment, each following his own thoughts.  
Rhy broke the silence first. “So, you mean, when I held you by your wrists, that prompted some kind of reaction?"

Alucard shrugged. “That’s what I think, but I honestly don’t know why it happened, it never did before.  
I could feel something was not right, and then all of a sudden the memories were there and I didn’t know what was going on anymore.”

Rhy nodded, turning Alucard’s hands over in his, running his fingers lightly over them.  
He had to think of his own scars, the concentric circles and the small strike of the blade.  
“ _Someone has wounded you,_ ” Alucard had said, during their passionate collision that night before the _Essen Tasch_ , when he first saw the marks of the spell, “ _Shall I make it better?_ ”

For him, the scars on his skin themselves were irrelevant, but not what they represented.  
Next to Kell’s heartbeat beneath his own, they were a warning and a constant reminder of his foolishness and the consequences he and everyone else in London had had to bear because of it.

“What do they remind you of?” Rhy asked, still lost in thought.

Alucard wavered, suppressing the urge to pull his hands back as they lightly started shaking.  
“What do you want to hear?” he asked, his voice tight with anguish.  
“How the soldiers caught me? How they did not care who I was or what I said? How I tried fighting them? How they cut me off my magic and threw me in a cell? The screams from the other prisoners that told me what was awaiting me? There was nothing I could do, they forged us all in the iron manacles and...” 

His hands clutched into fists and he pressed them tightly against his ribs.  
“I thought of you, all the time. How I wanted to stay sane just to see you again and explain everything to you… But when I was finally collected, and returned…”  
“When I was fixed up and brought to the Rose Hall, I was scared and hoped to see you, to have a chance to tell you what happened, but only Kell was there. And the king pardoned me. He said, he hoped I learned from my mistakes. And the _Spire_ was already waiting, and…”  
Alucard’s voice trailed off and silence fell.

When he looked at Rhy after a moment, he saw that his chest was heaving, his expression full of pain, but otherwise unreadable.

“And have you?” the king broke the silence, his tone suddenly low and cold.

Alucard got the sinking feeling of something going very wrong.  
“What do you mean?”

“Have you learned from your mistakes?”

“Rhy?” Alucard’s heart dropped, “Rhy! I was not a pirate! You know that I did not run away, I did not want to leave you! I wanted to come back, I...”

Rhy cut sharply across him, his voice shaking with anger and bitterness.  
“But you didn’t!”

Alucard let out an incredulous laugh that lacked all of his usual humor.  
“You still think I betrayed you, after everything I told you?”

He held out his trembling hands in front of him.  
“Is that it? You think I deserve this? What even am I to you? A servant that inconvenienced you? A plaything? A possession?”

Rhy’s hand hit the side of his jaw and tore his head sideways.

“How dare you! Get out!” 

His voice was filled with so much rage that it felt like another blow, and Alucard’s feet were already moving.  
He shot a look back at the heaving king, his amber eyes flaring, and a dreadful numbness overcame him as he turned to run out the hidden door. 

***


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)
> 
> additional safety notes for this chapter:  
> alcohol/intoxication

***

Alucard ran.

“Get out! Get out! Get out!”

Rhy’s words echoed in his head, blocking out every other thought.  
  


And so he ran, across the Isle, past the opening night market, through the darkening streets. 

He had no destination, no direction. He just wanted to keep running until the ache in his body screamed louder than the knife through his heart. 

As he finally slowed down, panting heavily, Alucard found himself by the docks.

He stopped for a minute to catch his breath, but couldn’t bear the stillness and so he kept walking.

Passing the dark hulls of the resting ships, he suddenly was unsure if he could trust himself to not board one of them.

And as hurt and confused and angry as he was, he knew that that was not what he wanted.

So he forced his feet to turn away from the water, rounding into the narrow, dark streets where everyone was looking for distraction from their misery.  
  


Alucard realised too late that his appearance clearly gave him away as nobility, a coveted feast in these corners. 

He forcibly turned away three women before the boys started swarming him.

One lanky blonde managed to corner him in a cramped spot, misreading his apathy as shyness and tried to kiss him.

“ _An,”_ Alucard said, ducking under his outstretched arm blocking the way, “You’re cute, but I’m not in the mood.”

Another hand slipped under his elbow and a small young man with dark hair fell in step beside him. He already wanted to shake him off, before he thought better of it. 

“Will you drink with me?” he asked, and the man flashed him an alluring smile, deeply contented with his catch.

“Asshole!” the blonde called after them, as they turned the corner.

Two hours later, and the young man‘s triumph had faded into exasperation. 

“ _Res naster_ , just tell me if you’re planning to _do_ anything that will get me paid, will you?” he groaned, as the _vestra,_ whose whining he had had to endure for the last hours, held the third bottle up to the light, looking mildly surprised to find it already empty again.   
  


Alucard sighed. Standing up, he threw a single _lish_ on the table and left the tavern to find another establishment, one that sold stronger spirits. 

***


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)
> 
> additional safety notes for this chapter:  
> anger, implied memories of traumatic events

***

The moment Alucard left the room, Rhy spun around and his fist hit the bedpost, evoking another scream, this time of physical pain.  
It took only a few seconds until he felt a distinctive, annoying pinch on his arm.

"Shut up, Kell!" he bawled at the empty room.

Of course his brother could not hear him, and as the pinching didn’t cease, he responded in the same manner, only way too hard, eliciting a pained yelp.  
At least that seemed to get the message across to Kell, as he didn't bother him anymore afterwards. 

Rhy paced back and forth in his room like a wild animal that had been caught, clenching his fists so hard his nails dug into his palms.   
When that did nothing to relief his temper, he threw himself down onto the bed and dug his face into the pile of pillows to muffle another scream.

Something moved next to his foot, and he looked up just in time to see the _liran_ sliding of the mattress. A sudden impulse made him catch it, and he instantly regretted it.   
He was tempted to throw it across the room to see it shatter, to destroy the wretched thing, just to see _something_ break that was outside of him.  
But the moment had passed, and he sunk back down onto his bed, suddenly overcome by a flood of tears and sobs that shook his whole body and carried on throughout the night.   
  


In the morning, Rhy felt like shit. Unfortunately, lying in bed and wallowing in self-pity was a privilege he had lost when he became king.   
He had barely slept, and could not bring himself to eat any breakfast.

When Isra came to meet him afterwards, her well practised professional composure slipped for a second when she saw the state he was in.  
Before she could inquire, Rhy raised a hand and silenced her with a tired look.

“Isra, have you seen Alucard this morning?” he asked.

Understanding dawned on her face. 

“No, Your Majesty, I’m afraid Master Emery has not shown up yet. Should I send someone for him?”

Rhy shook his head gravely, and continued to stare into his cold coffee.  
  
  


As midday passed, he wished he had taken Isra’s offer to get someone to look for Alucard.   
Rhy’s residual anger had vanished, leaving an aweful, lingering worry, and as he finally managed to make up his mind to check Alucard’s room, it was not only empty, but had clearly not been touched during the night.

He felt panic rise in his body like bile, threatening to strangle him and bring the tears to his eyes again.

Where had Alucard gone? 

Would he come back? 

What if he had left London?

"Get out!"

What had he done!  
  


Rhy clutched his chest as his breath caught in his throat. Suddenly he was the young prince again, overcome by the pain that his lover had turned him down and run away.

“Your Majesty?” one of his guards carefully addressed him with reluctant concern.

In that moment, Rhy hated being the king. He just wanted to scream and cry in agony and let all his fear show.  
Instead he bit back the emotions and drew himself up. 

“I will need to see Master Tieren right away.” 

***


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)

***

It would have been easier to ask the priest to come to the palace, but the pressing urge to leave the Soner Rast for a change of scene made Rhy visit him instead.

He left his entourage of guards outside the Sanctuary, and walked down the familiar halls. The _Aven Essen_ looked up from his scripts as he entered the study, and without hesitation dismissed his assistants from the room.

Rhy knew that the experienced eye of his life-long associate could tell immediately that something was wrong with him, and while he had often found it disturbing how the old man always saw right through him, he felt an instant relief just knowing he was with someone who would understand him now.

As soon as the door closed behind the other priests, his regal composure dropped and Rhy allowed himself to collapse onto a nearby chair, burrying his face in his hands. For a few minutes there was silence, only disrupted momentarily by the soft scraping sound of Tieren pulling in another chair for himself and settling into it.  
  


“Alucard is gone,” Rhy started, and the words just came tumbling out, “I’m worried that he left me again. I was so angry, that I told him to go away. He has not been in his room at all. If he is gone, I don’t know what I will do, Tieren. I can’t go through this another time, I just can’t!”

The _Aven Essen_ did not answer, but calmly went over to the sideboard, took a glass of water and added a few drops of a variety of liquids from small crystal flasks to it. He handed the glass to the king, and with an empathetic smile sat back down in his chair.

“Your Majesty, you are beside yourself. Drink this, it will ease your mind. And then tell me once more what happened exactly, so I can see how to help you.”  
  


Rhy took a deep, shuddering breath and complied. 

When he had finished retelling last night's events, he already felt a little lighter, maybe from the tonics or Tieren's calm and healing presence, or maybe just from knowing he was not alone with his sorrows anymore.  
  


The priest nodded quietly and ran his fingers through his beard.   
“Allow me to ask, what exactly is it that got you so upset now?”

Rhy suppressed to urge to snap back “I just told you!”; he knew from experience that the old man chose his questions wisely and always sought a purpose in them.  
He sighed.

“When I came to Alucard’s room earlier, I knew he might not be there, but seeing it with my own eyes made me truly realise that he could have left the palace, or even London. It brought back all those dreadful memories, and I got so scared that it might happen again.”

Rhy clutched the arms of his chair.  
  
“I don’t even know anymore what made me so angry yesterday. What if he ran away for good now? I just want him to come back and talk to him.”  
  


It took Tieren a moment to reply. When he did, his voice was low and soft.

“I can’t help but notice, that you keep saying that he might have left you again. Please correct me, but my understanding is, that Master Emery has cleared up his history with you, and thereby disproven the allegations of him running away all those years ago?”

Rhy bit down hard on his lip as to not answer with the fury that all of a sudden flooded through him again. 

The priest noticed his stirred state, and added “Please don’t get me wrong. What I would like to point out is, that if Master Emery has not voluntarily left you all those years ago, you might not have to fear him leaving you now as much as you do, don’t you think?”

  
Rhy got up and started pacing the room. Thoughts were racing in his mind, and although he found the reason in Tieren’s words, he was not yet ready to hear it.

“Memories are a complicated matter,” the priest continued after a moment, “They are just that, memories. They are neither exact, nor necessarily true. But the mind does not distinguish. Memories hold great power, and it takes a lot to change them, even with magic. Memories can't just be controlled by will.”  
  


The words hit something in Rhy, and he stopped, leaning against the marble desk.

“Yes. It is not that I don’t believe him. I know now, what really happened. But it doesn’t seem to get through to me. For years, I was sure he had left me, I can still hear the words he said that night. I can’t just forget everything that happened.”

“Exactly,” Tieren nodded in agreement, “and there is no doubt that your memories of that time and the pain you experienced are still just as true. That is your reality, and nothing will change that.”

Rhy suddenly felt tears running down his face. He had never seen it that way, and there was relief in the thought, but also pain and sadness, and it meant that there was no easy solution. 

The _Aven Essen_ leaned back in his chair, folded his hands and closed his eyes, making it clear that he would let him sit with his emotions for as long as he wanted.  
  


Rhy remembered Alucard, all those years back at the Summer Feast.   
“What else could I want from you?”

Thought of Alucard, the way he stepped in front of the dais, the _liran_ in his hands.  
“I have come to make amends with my king.”

Recalled the way he saw the hurt grow in Alucard’s expression last night.  
“You still think I betrayed you?”  
  


He had thought it was about understanding. About forgiveness, maybe. But it was not as easy.  
He did understand. There was nothing to forgive. And the wounds were still there.

  
As his tears ebbed off, he felt a numbness creep in.  
“What now?” he asked quietly, and Tieren opened his eyes, a curious smile on his face.

“Your Majesty?”

“How are we supposed to move on? Given that there still is a ‘we’, that is.”

Tieren got up and walked over to the window overlooking the garden.

“In my humble opinion, you will not be able to rid yourself of Master Emery as easily as that, given the persistence he has shown in the past. And, if you allow me to say so, you are well known for your own stubbornness.”

He looked back over his shoulder at Rhy, and his eyes twinkled.   
“I believe that if you decide to both use your tenacity for and not against each other, you will grow together. The easiest way to change the power of memories is to create new ones that are even stronger.”

Rhy nodded slowly, trying to process all that the priest was telling him.  
As the stress of the last hours finally started to fall off of him, he suddenly felt very tired, his head full and empty at the same time.

  
“I think I owe Alucard an apology. I have not been very considerate of him since his return. There is just so much I need to handle, and I am still not used to being the King of Arnes, and...”

“And I’m sure he understands and will loyally stand by your side regardless, Your Majesty,” Tieren smiled at him.  
“It is not my field of expertise, by all means, but I happen to know that your father did well to take off his crown in the bedroom. Not in a literal sense, that is.”

Rhy raised his eyebrows at the casual mention of his parents.

“You might want to protect a part of your day, in which you are not bound by rank and formality. Having someone in your life who sees you as a person first, and as king only second seems to be a very healthy addition to any royal court.”  
  
The priest turned to look out of the window again, and Rhy could not help but wonder if there were moments in Tieren’s life, when he was not just the _Aven Essen._ Maybe when he was alone, in his garden.  
  


Rhy left the Sanctuary exhausted, but calm.

As he returned to the Soner Rast _,_ there still had not been any signs of Alucard.  
Rhy’s initial panic had subsided after his exchange with Tieren though.

Isra offered again to have someone look for him, and this time he agreed to send a small group of guards out into the city to search and make inquiries.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed this little therapy session with Master Tieren :D
> 
> I actually got angry at Rhy for how he treated Alucard in ACOL, even at the end.  
> Which was part of what inspired me to write this fic at all. 
> 
> But when I wrote this chapter, something clicked and I actually think I understand Rhy better now and how he still needs to grow into his relationship.
> 
> Let me know what you think!  
> Does it make sense to you? Did you interpret his behavior differently?  
> If you want to discuss, I'm always very open for that! :3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)
> 
> additional safety notes for this chapter:  
> alcohol/intoxication; unhealthy coping; non-consensual kissing; arrest

***

Night was falling, and still no word from Alucard.  
Rhy was sad and worried, and dreaded another sleepless, lonely night. His eyes flickered over to the bottle with sleep tonic that he still kept for times when things got bad.  
Since he became king, he tried to abstain from using it, as he feared he might be needed during the night in case of an emergency.  
But tonight...

A sudden clatter of footsteps rang from outside, and Rhy had only enough time to turn around and register that they were not coming from the hallway, when the other door, the door to the hidden passageway was flung violently open.  
It crashed against the wall, together with Alucard, who stumbled and almost fell.  
Rhy’s heart stopped for a second and he rushed forward to catch his lover whom he thought to be hurt. When he caught him by the arm though, the stench of cheap wine and the docks hit him so hard it made him cringe.  
  


“Alucard, _sanct_!”  
He cursed, as the staggering man clutched onto the sleeve of his night gown, almost tearing it off his shoulder. The other groping hand found hold on a nearby dresser and he steadied his stand. With clear difficulty his eyes focussed on Rhy.

“You! I found you!” he slurred, and almost tripped again at the attempt of an exaggerated deep bow.  
“Your Majesty, I want my money.”

“What? Alucard, you’re drunk! You need to...” Rhy grabbed his arm again to try and direct him towards the divan, but Alucard shook him off roughly.

“No, my king, YOU need to!” He let out a choked laugh, pointing an unsteady finger in the vague direction where Rhy was standing, “You need to pay what you owe me!”  
  


Rhy took a step back. His thoughts were racing, the relief of seeing Alucard battling against confusion and worry. He tried to sound as calm and in control as he could.  
“I have no idea what in the name of the saints you mean. Sit down, and I will get you some water to clear your head.”

  
Alucard’s dark, red rimmed eyes locked onto his with the blurry intensity of the drunk, and Rhy could almost see the wheels turning inside his head at the attempt to form words.  
“I met some of the other guards in a tavern. Nice guys, actually, now that I know them. I invited them on a drink together,” he slurred.

Rhy raised an eyebrow. “More than just a drink, by the look of it.”

“Funny thing, though. Found out, we all get paid the same, the guys and I.”  
  


Alucard trailed off, and Rhy, who had absolutely no idea where he was going with this, already thought he had altogether lost track of what he was about to say, when his face suddenly grew sombre and his voice hardened.  
“Only that I am the only one that you fuck, my king!”

Alucard’s voice rose to an unpleasant level as he stumbled forwards, clutching the front of Rhy’s night gown, leaning in close.  
“Don’t you think I deserve more? Even a king should pay his whore for his services!”

  
Rhy flinched at the blow.

“Luc, you don’t know what you’re saying. Please stop this now,” he hissed through gritted teeth.

A dry laugh escaped Alucard as he pressed his lips against Rhy’s, disregarding his attempts to push him off.  
  


“Guards!” shouted Rhy as he pulled away, and within seconds the doors flew open and his guards stormed in.  
They had clearly been roused by the commotion already, but were too experienced to simply intervene at the sound of shouts from the king’s bedchamber at night. “Grab him!”  
  


He hated that he had to do this.  
At least Alucard did not try to put up a fight. He just stood between the two guards, swaying in their grip, his face contorted with something that resembled a crooked sneer.

Rhy took a deep breath to steady his voice, and fixed his gown around his shoulders.  
  


“Master Emery is forgetting himself. He will need to be contained until he can think clearly again.”

“Yes, Your Majesty!”

There was a metallic clink, and Rhy saw Alucard stiffen, his face sobering in the matter of seconds.

“That won’t be necessary,” he quickly addressed the guard who had drawn out the cuffs, “Master Emery will go with you voluntarily and stay in his chamber until he will be summoned. One of you will watch his door.”  
  


Rhy's eyes met Alucard’s that were mirroring what he felt – anger, sadness and confusion.

The guards led the drunk man away, steadying him by the elbows.  
Before they reached the door, Rhy called after them.

“Oh, and – provide him with a bucket.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just... I'm sorry! ;0;
> 
> The next chapters will make up for it, I promise!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)
> 
> This chapter will make up for the last angsty one, I promise. 
> 
> additional safety notes for this chapter:  
> mildly suggestive/non-graphic sexual content

  
***

“Congratulations,” the king’s voice greeted him across the echoing room, “you made an absolute ass of yourself last night.”

Alucard winced.  
A few moments ago he had been collected from his bedroom, not by a guard, but a servant, which he thought was a good sign.  
The king had sent for him.  
He was unsure whether to be glad that Rhy still wanted to see him or dread the encounter. So he did both.  
  


To his surprise, he was not led to the reception chambers or one of the smaller halls, but further into the private part of the palace.   
His confusion grew and his heart rose to his throat, as the servant stopped in front of a dark wooden door, set into a marble frame.   
Alucard knew the room behind that door, although technically his knowledge shouldn’t have been as intimate as it was.

What he did not know, was, why after everything that happened between them, the king wanted to meet him in the royal baths.  
  


The dim room was hot and fogged with a mildly scented mist.   
Alucard immediately felt beads of sweat start to prickle on his neck.   
He could make out Rhy’s dark figure, clad only in a crimson robe, held together loosely at the waist by a thin golden belt. He was sitting on the far side of the water-filled stone basin that was set into the middle of the candle lit room.

A word from the king send the servant away, and they were alone.

“I have always found the steam helped to clear my head when I was hung over.”

Rhy’s tone was conversational, and Alucard felt a weight lift of his heart.

Unsure what to do next, he undid the top buttons of his shirt and took a few steps into the room.  
  


Rhy was watching him from the other side of the pool. He leaned back on a thick towel, his legs dangling casually in the water.

Alucard immediately felt drawn to him, already missing their connection and the touch of their skin against each other. He longed for him even after their fight and only two days of withdrawal.   
Still, he forced himself to keep his composure. He deeply regretted his outburst last night, and did not know where they stood now.  
  


“Your Majesty, if I may -”

He nodded towards a wooden bench by the wall next to the door that held some towels and another robe.

Rhy tilted his head, visibly put off by the courteous salutation.

“Please, drop it, Luc,” he said, “I have asked to meet you here because this is the least formal place in the _Soner Ras_ t, that is, well – not a bedroom.”  
  


Alucard stepped out of his shoes, shed his clothes and changed into the silken robe.   
It was of shiny black with a silver cord, and he wondered if it had been chosen specifically for him.  
He took his place on his side of the stone basin, mirroring Rhy’s pose.  
He was right – the steam did help somewhat to alleviate his throbbing headache and nausea.  
  


“It seems that we are even now,” he said, drawing in a deep breath as his legs slid up to his thighs into the hot water.

“What do you mean?” the king inquired.

“We have now both made an ass of ourselves.”

Silence spread between them, only interrupted by the quiet sounds their feet made as they moved through the water.  
  


“I miss you.”

Three simple words that floated over to him across the pool, and Alucard could sense his exact same longing in them.

“There is only water between us,” he said softly.

The king rose, shed his robe and slowly sank into the water.   
After wading in a few steps, Rhy took a deep breath and fully submerged himself, gliding across the mosaic floor of the pool, staying under water a little longer than Alucard found comfortable to witness.   
When he emerged again, he had made it to the middle of the basin, his dark, wet skin shimmering in the wavering candle light.  
  


Alucard was entranced by the sight.   
He could not resist to raise his hand and let a coil of steam form into a serpentine shape around Rhy’s torso, circling him and impalpably grazing his chest, the back of his neck, his cheeks.

Rhy raised his hand to cut through the mist, and Alucard let a small stream of water run up his arm instead, snake around his wrist and float through his fingers.   
As Rhy cupped his hand, the water collected inside his palm.

He watched it with a curiosity that reminded Alucard more of the young prince, not the king, who was still so very young, but had grown up so much.

A quick flick of his finger, and a small splash of water shot up and hit Rhy in the face.

Rhy snorted and cursed, as Alucard broke out in loud laughter.   
It was silly, and oddly freeing. He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed so genuinely.  
  


Before he noticed, Rhy’s head vanished again under the surface, and within a few seconds there were invisible hands dragging his legs down under water.

“No, Rhy! Stop it! The robe!” Alucard struggled to keep his seat on the edge of the pool, still laughing heartily.

The pull on his feet ceased.   
The hands glided up over his knees and Rhy parted the surface of the water between his legs, face blushed, hair slick and so close they almost touched.   
Their eyes locked, laughter fading into heavy breaths, and Alucard leaned down to kiss the king.

All thoughts of the silk robe were lost in an instant, as he let himself be pulled down into the water by Rhy’s eager hands.

Their bodies floated against each other, wet fabric clinging, limbs tangling.   
Their lips roamed hungrily over every stretch of skin they could reach, until their breathless laughter turned into sounds of pleasure, cancelling out the splashing noises echoing from the tiled walls.

***


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the beta @forthegenuine! You add the cherry on top! :)

  
***

During the night, Rhy shot up from a dream. He instantly lost what that nightmare had been about.  
Maybe drowning, or being pierced by spikes of ice, as he was panting and his muscles were stiff and ached with tension.

He looked around, forcing his mind to focus on details of the room that he could make out in the dark to ground his thoughts.  
The divan, the pitcher, his hands, the door, the reflection on the gossamer ceiling…

As his heart slowed down, he found that Alucard was watching him.

“You okay?”

“Just a dream,” Rhy replied, to convince both of them.

Alucard lifted the blanket and Rhy snuggled up close to him. The arms around him, his steady breaths, the feeling of his warm skin made him relax.  
Rhy leaned in to touch his forehead against Alucard’s.  
  


“It is scary, you know?” he whispered.

“What is?”

“How much I have come to rely on you already. I don’t think I can sleep without you, and just knowing you are there gets me through each day.”  
Rhy swallowed and leaned back to look at Alucard. “When I thought you were gone, I didn’t know what to do anymore.”

He saw a shadow of guilt pass over the other’s expression, and quickly continued.

“Please, it is I who needs to be sorry. It was unfair of me to treat you like… like the image I had of you since I thought you left me. We have both been hurt, and I hope we can find a way to heal together, because I can’t imagine my life without you.”  
  


A moment of silence passed, and Rhy could see that Alucard was touched by his words. He wondered if he would play it down, or blame himself, or turn it into a joke.

In the end, Alucard sighed, “I understand. It must be hard for you. I can’t expect of you to just forget what you went through. I just hope I can make up for some of it.”

“You do, every day. Well, unless you get drunk, that is.”  
Rhy nudged Alucard’s shoulder. 

“Yes, not one of my most shining moments,” Alucard admitted, “and I am really sorry for that.”

“At least the next time you run away, I know I’ll only have to look as far as the next dodgy tavern”, Rhy chuckled, before growing serious again.  
“This does not mean I don’t trust you, but… Can you just tell me, that you will not leave me without an explanation? Ever?”

Alucard looked him straight in the eye.   
“I promise, I will never leave you behind. If there is somewhere that I have to go, I will let you know about it. And I will always come back to you. Okay?”

Rhy nodded, his throat tight, and leaned in to kiss him. When he pulled back, he lifted his hand to cup Alucard’s face.

“Do you really think I only see a possession in you? That I treat you… like a whore?” 

“No- no, I don’t,” Alucard looked away, ache drawn on his face. “That is what my brother said, before he...”

“I know, I saw it, in the mirror,” Rhy cut in, turning his face towards him again. “Excuse me, but that bastard needs to get out of your head. He has hurt you more than enough.” 

The king saw the other’s eyes well up, before he pulled him into a tight embrace. They held each other close, letting the anxiety and relief of sharing intimate thruths pass through them, before ebbing off into a state of comfortable fatigue.

Rhy felt Alucard’s lips move against the skin of his shoulder, unsure whether he heard or felt the whisper only, just as he drifted off to sleep.

“I love you.”

  
  


“You are so far away,” Rhy slurred sleepily out of a small mountain of pillows. He lifted a weak hand and stretched it towards Alucard, who sat with his back against the headboard on the other side of the bed. His hand missed him and dropped heavily onto the covers.

The early morning sun danced on the tawny waves of Alucard’s hair, as he turned away from the book he was reading to smile at the waking king. He lifted his limp hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Come closer.” Rhy beckoned him, too lazy to move himself.

The laugh lines in the corners of Alucard’s eyes twitched, and he shifted towards his sleepy lover, sliding down to prop himself up on his elbow next to him.  
He stroked a few tousled curls from Rhy’s forehead, letting his fingers gently run down the side of his face.

“You’re always beautiful, but especially in the morning,” he said, his eyes soft and full of adoration.

Rhy stirred a little, a contented grin playing around his mouth, bathing in the welcome affection of the compliment like a cat in the sun.  
  


“Come closer,” he ordered again, and this time Alucard leaned down to cover his lips in a long kiss, savouring the sweet touch.

“Closer!” Rhy demanded when they broke apart, his hands around Alucard’s neck eagerly drawing him in again.

“Closer!” he gasped, as Alucard’s lips moved over his face, down his jaw.

“Not close enough!” he groaned with effort and desire, as he rolled onto his back, pulling the other body on top of his.

“I don’t think I can come any closer,” Alucard breathed against his ear, chuckling with delight as Rhy’s back arched under his weight at the sensation, “unless I melt into you."

“Then do that!” Rhy wrapped his legs greedily around his hips, as he turned to catch his lips in another rousing kiss.  
  


Just then, a sharp knock cut through the room.

“ _Sanct!”_

“No!”

Both of them swore at the same time, Alucard already jumping up and looking around in panic, searching for his clothes and a hiding place.  
  


“Your Majesty, excuse my untimely intrusion, but it is a matter of urgency.”

Isra’s voice sounded through the door.  
  


Rhy held up his hand to stop Alucard from rushing towards the secret passage, halfway into his trousers and tunic.

“No. Stay,” he said, throwing over his own brocade gown.

“Are… you sure?” Alucard shot him a disbelieving look.

Rhy picked up his crown, nodded, and stepped forwards to open the door.

***


End file.
